While talking with my sister-in-law the other day we discovered that one of the many many many things our husbands have in common is the natural tendency to overreact in the negative anytime we show even a miniscule amount of interest in anything at any store. To give you an example, this is roughly how their brains work:
“Oh crap she likes something else? Doesn't she have something just like that? Why does she always have to buy stuff? Is there any way I can dissuade her from thinking she needs this? Let's see, what excuse or reason haven't I used this week yet? Oh no, I can't think of anything! Ohhh, I can't breathe; I'm starting to hyperventilate! Oh wait, she's walked past it. ? I guess she's not going to buy it after all. But wait! She's looking at something else!? Oh man, doesn't she have something just like that? Why does she always have to buy stuff?...”
You get my point. And this isn't just our husbands either. There are others out there who act this same way. Have they never heard of window shopping? Or just browsing? Is it such a crime to appreciate things around us and to enjoy looking at cute ideas or new creations in the world? And why oh why do they always think we will inevitably buy something? Your history doesn't matter. Money doesn't matter. You could have a perfect track record of never buying anything, and it wouldn't matter if you were a millionaire or dirt poor, they would still freak out and overreact. WHY?!! And, for the record, these explanation points aren't angry punctuation marks, they are the visual of my absolute befuddled and confounded mind. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around this one. Is this just something that we are going to have to put up with? Is this the 'Mars' gene in them? Oh, and in case you wanted to try talking with them about it, don't bother. In this scenario, at least, their communication chip is absent. True. Turning to them or sitting them down and saying, "I'm just looking. It doesn't mean I'm going to buy it" in any way, shape or form has no effect. You're just wasting your breath in a futile attempt.
Oh, and don't sit there and think 'Wow her husband is crazy, I'm so lucky to be married to my guy, blah blah blah.' Because they're all like this. They're all prone to such irrational thought and behavior. Just scratch the surface a little. Dig a little deeper and you'll find it there, lurking... right? I'm right aren't I? Yea, of course I am...right? Or am I in really small company on this one? Does this happen to you too? It's not really that big of a deal and I don't really expect anything to change (really really), I was just wondering, and confused.
Second Week of School
2 years ago
4 comments:
That's funny that you posted this because just last night Dustin was sitting on our couch and I walked in the room. My mom was over at our house and her stuff (coat, purse, etc) was sitting on this chair next to Dustin. I noticed that she had a new purse (in her continual quest for the perfect purse) and I picked it up and said, "Oh CUTE! Mom got a new purse!"
Dustin's IMMEDIATE and POUNCING response: "And you DON'T need one!"
I glared at him and said, "I was simply ADMIRING it because it's ADORABLE. For your information, I don't WANT it... AT ALL!" and I proceeded to huff out of the room. He was abashed.
So funny that you wrote this in the wake of our convo last night! Thanks for the chuckle!
I completely agree with you!! I can actually see Matt tense up when we approach something he thinks I'll like. It's quite funny, actually. But have you noticed that this doesn't apply to them? THEY're totally justified!
Well, I've never had my husband overreact to my shopping, but there are probably 2 reasons for that: I'm more of a tight-wad than he is and he HATES shopping, so I rarely shop with him and when I do only for a specific purpose. No window shopping allowed. So maybe the answer is just save the window shopping for girls' night out and he won't burst your bubble as much.
Jared does the same thing! Though sometimes he surprises me and wants to get things with more gusto than I expected. Sometimes I argue with him to buy something until he gives in and then decide I didn't need it anyway. I'm weird that way!
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