The other day I was watching a news-type lifestyle-type local program and they had a relationship expert on. He was talking about a new book of his I believe, but some of what he said was interesting, so I thought I'd pass it along. Aren't I nice? =)
He talked about the 5 love languages that we have and use. They are:
- Words of affirmation (I love you, you look great, etc.)
- Quality time (focus and attention from your spouse)
- Receiving gifts (flowers, chocolate, etc.)
- Acts of service (help around the house, taking care of the kids, etc.)
- Physical touch (hand holding, backrubs, hugs, etc. wink wink etc.)
He said that each of us reacts best when spoken to in the language that we need. Typically we will need all 5 languages at one time or another, and they simply change as we do, or as our lives do. The thing to figure out is what your language is, and what your spouses language is. Apparently we typically love how we want to be loved, and not how our spouse needs/wants to be loved. Something to think about. A good way to determine what language your spouse wants is to listen to what they complain about. If a husband gets home from work and his wife usually complains about how she can't keep the house clean or that it's a mess or that the dishes never seem to be done, the he would be wise to help out a little, even if it's only to be in charge of loading the dishes into the dishwasher. That act of service would speak volumes to his wife, and probably mean more to her than simply hearing him say that he loves her.
I thought this was interesting, and it made me think about what my love language is right now. I respond well to all of them, and seem to be a good mix between them, but if I had to chose one that seemed to mean more more often, it would probably be the acts of service. Actions always seem to speak louder than words.
What is your love language? And do you know your spouse's?
4 comments:
My Love language has changed over the years. I used to be more of the physical touch person, and then it was receiving gifts, i feel like I am moving into the acts of service language. I would guess that dave is a mix of quality time and physical touch.
I borrowed a book from Steph a few years ago on children's love language. It was really fascinating.
I LOVE that book! It was so fun to read together because it is helpful to define what our individual love language is. Unfortunately for Adam, I am all 5 all the time! In the book it has fun ideas for what to do for your spouse depending on each love language. Thanks for the great post!
yup, this is a great book. not new at all...probably available in the library. i think it comes with quizzes so you can figure out what fits you best.
I actually received this book at one of my bridal showers. It is pretty interesting and for the most part, it was accurate. You should check it out.
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