Okay, so I'm curious about something. Why won't some people take their kids out of church meetings?!! I am dumbfounded sometimes at how long people take to respond to their crying screaming children. What happened to being responsible and considerate to those around you? Now I know that anyone can have a reallly bad day, and sometimes you just can't win a battle against your kids no matter how hard you try, but I'm talking about serial offenders. You know, those people who NEVER take their child out, even if the kid continues screaming? It's one thing to quickly try to resolve the problem, and maybe with a tiny baby that might take a moment if you're trying to prepare a bottle or something, but if that doesn't work?
Maybe it's my upbringing that makes me think this way. My parents never let any of us misbehave at church, and if we did have a bad Sunday they would immediately take us out of the meeting and force us to remain sitting on their lap until we were ready to go back in. We never got to play and socialize with other kids while we were out there - that would have been rewarding us for misbehaving and would have taught us that if we are bad during the meeting we would get to go outside and play. Instead, we learned really early that it was much better to behave. This is how Eric and I have always been with Emma. We wouldn't hesitate to take her out, and then she had to stay on our lap. It was really hard when so many other parents just let their kids wander around, but Emma has learned that she needs to be quiet and reverent at church. We will have an occasional bad Sunday with her, but it is very very infrequent.
I am thinking about this because since moving into our new ward I have of course noticed some of these serial offenders. This isn't a new thing either, there have been people like this in every ward I have ever been in, and they probably exist in yours too. Last Sunday I seriously couldn't pay attention because of one child in particular. He was either too loud (laughing, crying, screeching, whatever) or was galavanting around playing with things, almost knocking things over, playing the piano (yes playing - his parents let him get all the way over there and start pounding keys before they finally got up and retrieved him), grabbing people's belongings, etc. What the?! And the thing that always baffles me is that these people are really nice and seem to responsible parents in every other way. Why doesn't this fall into the category of responsibility? Am I totally overreacting? I mean, I'm not sitting here fuming or anything, it's just kind of annoying. Especially when I'm having a Sunday when I'm really trying to pay attention and feel the Spirit.
I don't want to be staring, turning around to look, clearing my throat, etc. either. I have to believe that these people know their child is possibly disrupting the service for someone. And you can't always help either. If you're not sitting close enough, know them well enough, or just don't feel like it's your position to take their child out, there isn't much you can do. I feel sorry for people who have children who are always acting out, but it isn't entirely the child's fault. It always has something to do with the parenting. Now I'm definately not saying that I'm a perfect parent. HA! I'm the first one to point out my many flaws (which I don't usually have to do because it is so obvious how pathetic I am at this parenting thing). But I can say that Emma's behavior is not entirely because she is just an angel. She is a very good child most of the time, but she behaves the way she does because Eric and I have NEVER let her get away with anything, especially at the cost of someone else. Emma has never been the child wandering around the room with me chasing her down because I have never let her get away from me. And it's not that hard. And if she had been regularly bad or if she does have a bad Sunday (which again is almost never - I can't remember the last time we had to take her out), one of us would have sat out with her as many times as it took. Part of the sacrifice of being a parent while taking your children to church is that you might miss out on some of the meetings. It won't last forever, but at least you'll know other people aren't missing out because of you and yours.
And why, if your child is behaving just fine, is it okay to use them as an excuse to go out and sit and socialize? Why do people do this? And it's not that I haven't been tempted or don't love socializing, but that's not why we go to church. I wish I could say to people to please not talk (especially so loudly) right outside of a room where people are already straining to hear a lesson or talk due to some really loud kid whose parents won't take him out. Not that we'll always succeed, but some of us sometimes try to be spiritually edified instead of socially justified. Oh well, the church is still true whether or not I can hear it.
Second Week of School
2 years ago
7 comments:
I couldn't agree more. We struggled with this very problem in our last ward. We had so many kids and hardly any of the parents ever took them out - I really don't remember ever hearing a speaker's talk because of how noisy it was in there. I remember sitting in Relief Society once and we were watching a video clip. The 2nd Counselor's toddler was wandering around, pounding on the piano, playing with the buttons on the VCR and even stopping it at one point. The mom just sat there smiling at her, expecting everybody else to find her daughter just as cute. I was so annoyed I almost got up and walked out. It is so easy to lose the spirit in situations like these. But, like you said, it's true whether or not you even hear one word from the speaker. I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Hang in there.
I know when my sister was two, she was the epitome of those kids, if you add in the flinging off of the church clothes as she ran up the aisles. My parents were so embarrassed that she would act like such a hooligan, they'd send me to go get her -- at 14 I don't think there's anything more humiliating!
I think we have one of those children who is loud and we do take him out when he is that way. He just doesn't want to sit still I tell ya! It's a battle. Matthew's mother would take her children out and go to an empty room and "sit tight" with them until they were ready to go back in. It worked well. I'm afraid our son is a challenge and we have a lot on our hands while at church with him. I do try my best to be respectful :0). Thanks for this post I really enjoyed it. It reminds me of the lesson I gave in R.S. on Elder Oaks talk "the sacrament and sacrament meeting".
The funniest reaction to an unruly child in sacrament meeting I've ever seen was when I was in Argentina with Casey. The bishop was in the middle of talking when a child came up ane was running around the front of the chapel. The bishop stopped, looked at the mom and told her she needed to tkae him out. Of course I didn't know that's what was said until Casey translated it for me.
That Bishop's awesome! Eric told me that in one of his wards in Germany the Bishop got up one Sunday and basically told the ward members they needed to be more considerate and step it up. I guess they weren't doing a very good job of keeping it reverent. But way to step it up as a Bishop.
Agreed on all counts. I've often wondered at this phenomenon myself. It baffles me along with the rest of the world. That bothers me most when the parents look at them adoringly when they are doing these naughty things and then look at you for acknowledgment like,'isn't my naughty child adorable?'
Ya. That's my favorite.
So I just wanted to say that not everyone has children that will sit throught church while I know everyone has their own opinion I think you should try walking in the shoes of a mother who bearly makes it to church with kids on her side and has to struggle through church just to keep her kids doing the right thing. Why even go to church if everytime you go you end up siting in the foyer not hearing the talks at all. Heres an idea sit in the front because most people with kids like this sit in the back so problem solved. Why dont you give the benifit of the doubt and realize everybody is just trying their best to do what is right!!!!
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